This is my last week on maternity leave and I will be spending much of the week getting Emma (and Molly) ready for Emma's first day in full time day care. In the midst of our preparations, I cannot help but to reflect upon how blessed my family is.
We are blessed to have the girls in a great day care that is across the street from my office. Drop off and pick up is fast and easy and I am able to walk across the street at lunch time to nurse Emma.
We are blessed that Jeremy and I both have jobs that enable us to support our family while spending quality time with our girls. As a government employee, Jeremy receives excellent benefits including insurance, generous vacation and a daycare stipend. These benefits allow me to maintain and grow my own law practice without the burden of paying for health insurance. As my own boss, I am in control and can set my schedule to meet my girls' needs. If I one of the girls is sick, I can stay home with them without having to take leave. More importantly, I am of the strong belief that working makes me a better mommy. I am not a stay at home mom type of person and this is not intended to disparage those of you who are. I look forward to going to the office and achieving results for my clients. I earn every penny that I bring home to my family. I am blessed because I actually love what I do. Just the other day, I received a favorable outcome for my client and I was giddy as a school girl. I can be an adult and have adult conversations without having spit up on my clothes. And at the end of the day, there is nothing better than having your child run to you at daycare and say "Mama."
Most importantly, we are blessed to have two happy and healthy daughters who are the light of our lives. No matter how stressful work maybe, we only need to look to our daughters to put a smile on our faces.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Monday, August 15, 2016
Baby's First Road Trip
This past weekend was the first time we took both of our girls away for the weekend. The trip to my parents' cottage took a little over an hour by car and provided several lessons regarding travel with small children. Here is what I took away from the weekend.
1. We pile everything that needs to go into the car along one wall in our house. If it is along the wall, it must go in the car. We can see what we are missing with one glance.
2. When we are not traveling by some form of mass transit or airplane, we use open tote bags. Everyone gets one tote bag. We also have a separate tote bag for snacks and the kids' sippy cups and bottles. I can easily see what is in the bag because they are open. I also recommend getting bags that are different colors or patterns. I was able to enlist Molly's help and say, "Please put this in the orange bag."
3. I should have packed my bag the evening before we left while the girls were sleeping. I found I was very overwhelmed trying to pack myself and both girls while taking care of Emma. She is still at that phase where she doesn't like to nap during the day unless she is sleeping on my chest. It makes packing a bit of a challenge.
4. Once we are at our destination, we use one of the tote bags into a laundry bag. This way the dirty laundry gets dumped by the washing machine when we get back.
5. Carefully evaluate how many toys you will need. If it fits in the kids' tote bags after they are packed with the essentials, a toy can come along. If not, it needs to stay behind.
6. Try to be as flexible as you can be and plan for your journey to take longer than normal. I thought I was so clever and planned to have dinner at home, put the girls in their pajama's and get in the car at bedtime. The girls would fall asleep in the car and I would have a quiet trip to the cottage. Ha....Emma cried the 75% of the time. I had to stop twice to replace her pacifier. Although Molly was sound asleep throughout most of the ride, she woke up when we arrived in the middle of a thunderstorm. It took an hour to get her back to sleep.
7. Unfortunately, this trip also confirmed what we had long suspected... we will likely need a new car. Our five seat Subaru Forester has served us extremely well with one child. It also works well around town. With that said, we went away for one weekend and we didn't bring two sets of golf clubs, the second Pack N Play or the second stroller. Having a five seat car also means that when we visit family, it means we have to take two cars whenever we go anywhere such as going out to dinner. A larger car will allow us to take other folks with us when we visit family.
1. We pile everything that needs to go into the car along one wall in our house. If it is along the wall, it must go in the car. We can see what we are missing with one glance.
2. When we are not traveling by some form of mass transit or airplane, we use open tote bags. Everyone gets one tote bag. We also have a separate tote bag for snacks and the kids' sippy cups and bottles. I can easily see what is in the bag because they are open. I also recommend getting bags that are different colors or patterns. I was able to enlist Molly's help and say, "Please put this in the orange bag."
3. I should have packed my bag the evening before we left while the girls were sleeping. I found I was very overwhelmed trying to pack myself and both girls while taking care of Emma. She is still at that phase where she doesn't like to nap during the day unless she is sleeping on my chest. It makes packing a bit of a challenge.
4. Once we are at our destination, we use one of the tote bags into a laundry bag. This way the dirty laundry gets dumped by the washing machine when we get back.
5. Carefully evaluate how many toys you will need. If it fits in the kids' tote bags after they are packed with the essentials, a toy can come along. If not, it needs to stay behind.
6. Try to be as flexible as you can be and plan for your journey to take longer than normal. I thought I was so clever and planned to have dinner at home, put the girls in their pajama's and get in the car at bedtime. The girls would fall asleep in the car and I would have a quiet trip to the cottage. Ha....Emma cried the 75% of the time. I had to stop twice to replace her pacifier. Although Molly was sound asleep throughout most of the ride, she woke up when we arrived in the middle of a thunderstorm. It took an hour to get her back to sleep.
7. Unfortunately, this trip also confirmed what we had long suspected... we will likely need a new car. Our five seat Subaru Forester has served us extremely well with one child. It also works well around town. With that said, we went away for one weekend and we didn't bring two sets of golf clubs, the second Pack N Play or the second stroller. Having a five seat car also means that when we visit family, it means we have to take two cars whenever we go anywhere such as going out to dinner. A larger car will allow us to take other folks with us when we visit family.
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Baby wearing
Now that I have two children, one of whom is very mobile, it is essential that I have at least one, if not two, hands free to manage both children. If I cannot use my stroller/car seat combo, I must be able to wear Emma so that I can take care of Molly.
With my first child, I had every intention of using a fabric baby carrier. After reading various reviews, we purchased the Baby Bjorn Active carrier. As soon as Molly weighed more than 10 or 15 pounds, it was difficult for me to wear Molly because it made my back sore. My husband, who has a much larger and stronger frame, was able to use it without complaint. This go around, I skipped the online reviews and went straight to the source....my local breast feeding support group's facebook page. The responses quickly narrowed my choices down to two or three choices. I finally settled on the Lillebaby Complete Carrier. Not having success with my first carrier and given the expense (roughly $125), I was apprehensive that my second choice would work.
The first test was the local farmer's market/sidewalk sale. I carried Emma for nearly an hour with no back pain whatsoever. The Lillebaby has a waist belt and lumbar support that put the baby's weight on my hips and not my back. I quickly learned to wear her even when I am at home because I can pick up the house while holding her. She also quickly falls asleep while sitting against my chest. I am also figuring out how to nurse Emma in the carrier. Check out YouTube for how to videos. In sum, I highly recommend the Lillebaby.
If you are in the market for a baby carrier, I highly recommend that you see what your friends have. Ask your friends if you can borrow one to test drive. Ask mommy groups on Facebook. Nearly every community has some sort of Facebook group. There are even groups that serve as lending libraries where they will show you how to use a particular carrier and let you borrow it.
Even though the Baby Bjorn did not work for me, it does work for my husband. He now uses exclusively. This has the benefit of not having to adjust the carrier each time one of us uses it. The Baby Bjorn is always set for him and the Lillebaby is always set for me. It is wonderful.
With my first child, I had every intention of using a fabric baby carrier. After reading various reviews, we purchased the Baby Bjorn Active carrier. As soon as Molly weighed more than 10 or 15 pounds, it was difficult for me to wear Molly because it made my back sore. My husband, who has a much larger and stronger frame, was able to use it without complaint. This go around, I skipped the online reviews and went straight to the source....my local breast feeding support group's facebook page. The responses quickly narrowed my choices down to two or three choices. I finally settled on the Lillebaby Complete Carrier. Not having success with my first carrier and given the expense (roughly $125), I was apprehensive that my second choice would work.
The first test was the local farmer's market/sidewalk sale. I carried Emma for nearly an hour with no back pain whatsoever. The Lillebaby has a waist belt and lumbar support that put the baby's weight on my hips and not my back. I quickly learned to wear her even when I am at home because I can pick up the house while holding her. She also quickly falls asleep while sitting against my chest. I am also figuring out how to nurse Emma in the carrier. Check out YouTube for how to videos. In sum, I highly recommend the Lillebaby.
If you are in the market for a baby carrier, I highly recommend that you see what your friends have. Ask your friends if you can borrow one to test drive. Ask mommy groups on Facebook. Nearly every community has some sort of Facebook group. There are even groups that serve as lending libraries where they will show you how to use a particular carrier and let you borrow it.
Even though the Baby Bjorn did not work for me, it does work for my husband. He now uses exclusively. This has the benefit of not having to adjust the carrier each time one of us uses it. The Baby Bjorn is always set for him and the Lillebaby is always set for me. It is wonderful.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Where is a hanger when I need one?
We have all been there. The dryer has finished and clothes need to be hung up. You have to search your closet for hangers that are buried amongst all of your clothes. You think you have found enough, only to discover that you are two short.
To remedy this small but annoying problem, I have started to move my hangers to the end of the rod when I remove a piece of clothing. This way all of the hangers are together in one spot and I don't have to go on a hanger man hunt each time I do laundry. In an ideal world, hangers would magically make their way to my laundry room so I can hanging items up when they come out of the dryer.
To remedy this small but annoying problem, I have started to move my hangers to the end of the rod when I remove a piece of clothing. This way all of the hangers are together in one spot and I don't have to go on a hanger man hunt each time I do laundry. In an ideal world, hangers would magically make their way to my laundry room so I can hanging items up when they come out of the dryer.
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
She is asleep...now what.
It is very tempting to try and get stuff done while your little one is sleeping during the day. After having my first and now my second is to take a nap when your little one sleeps. Now that I am over a month in and I am getting a little bit more night time sleep, I find I have the energy to do some small things. This is a list of my top priorities for that precious little time your little one may be napping:
1. If your tired - nap.
2. If you are hungry - eat.
3. Start a load of laundry. The beauty of this is that once it is started, you can ignore it until its done. If you want a nap, start the laundry and take a nap. You are accomplishing two important tasks simultaneously.
4. Empty the dishwasher. I am finding that the kids' stuff multiplies the number of cycles we need to run. There is nothing worse that having a pile of dirty dishes on the counter and no where to put them until you empty the dishwasher. If I empty the dishwasher, the dirty dishes have a place to go.
5. Pick up a few odds and ends. You will accomplish much more in 15 minutes than you ever expected.
Don't kill yourself to make your home spotless. You have young children - everyone will understand. If they don't - boo on them. I find that accomplishing even a very small task while Emma is napping, I feel much better.
1. If your tired - nap.
2. If you are hungry - eat.
3. Start a load of laundry. The beauty of this is that once it is started, you can ignore it until its done. If you want a nap, start the laundry and take a nap. You are accomplishing two important tasks simultaneously.
4. Empty the dishwasher. I am finding that the kids' stuff multiplies the number of cycles we need to run. There is nothing worse that having a pile of dirty dishes on the counter and no where to put them until you empty the dishwasher. If I empty the dishwasher, the dirty dishes have a place to go.
5. Pick up a few odds and ends. You will accomplish much more in 15 minutes than you ever expected.
Don't kill yourself to make your home spotless. You have young children - everyone will understand. If they don't - boo on them. I find that accomplishing even a very small task while Emma is napping, I feel much better.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Leaving a child in a car
This morning, the news reported that a number of young children have died as a result of being left in a hot car. Some of these deaths were as a result of parents intentionally leaving their child, but many are a result of parents simply forgetting that their child was in the car. They were on "auto-pilot" or had slightly deviated from their normal routine like a different person taking baby to daycare.
I thought about my routine when I have one or both of my daughters in the car. I am still in the process of developing the best mechanism for getting both of my children in and out of the car. After just over a month, here is what I find helpful.
1. I put Molly in the car first and take her out last. This is for the simple reason that Molly is mobile and can "escape." This way Molly is safe and secure while I get Emma situated. It is also the reason that Molly sits on the passenger side. This way, if she does get away from me, she is at least on the side walk side of the car and not on the street side. Emma cannot go anywhere on her own yet.
2. Emma's seat is installed behind the driver's seat. I have made it a habit to open her door while I get the stroller out of the back. This way I cannot accidentally lock the girls in the car.
3. I leave the diaper bag or Molly's day care bag in the foot well of the front seat. This way I have to walk all the way around the car and have a much greater chance of seeing one or both of the girls in the back seat.
4. I used to let Molly play with my car keys. After witnessing another child lock herself in the car, I no longer allow her to have the keys when she is in the car.
5. I have a mirror in the backseat so that I can see Emma from the rear view mirror.
I have heard other tips such as leaving one of your shoes or your purse in the bag seat so that you have to open the back door. Whatever works for you so long as it works.
I thought about my routine when I have one or both of my daughters in the car. I am still in the process of developing the best mechanism for getting both of my children in and out of the car. After just over a month, here is what I find helpful.
1. I put Molly in the car first and take her out last. This is for the simple reason that Molly is mobile and can "escape." This way Molly is safe and secure while I get Emma situated. It is also the reason that Molly sits on the passenger side. This way, if she does get away from me, she is at least on the side walk side of the car and not on the street side. Emma cannot go anywhere on her own yet.
2. Emma's seat is installed behind the driver's seat. I have made it a habit to open her door while I get the stroller out of the back. This way I cannot accidentally lock the girls in the car.
3. I leave the diaper bag or Molly's day care bag in the foot well of the front seat. This way I have to walk all the way around the car and have a much greater chance of seeing one or both of the girls in the back seat.
4. I used to let Molly play with my car keys. After witnessing another child lock herself in the car, I no longer allow her to have the keys when she is in the car.
5. I have a mirror in the backseat so that I can see Emma from the rear view mirror.
I have heard other tips such as leaving one of your shoes or your purse in the bag seat so that you have to open the back door. Whatever works for you so long as it works.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
One of my favorite times of day
The other morning, I was blessed to have about an hour and a half of time where both girls and my husband were still asleep. It was one of those few times where I had "me time." The house was quiet. I was able to go around the house doing small but useful things such make coffee, empty the dishwasher, fold a load of laundry and even take an uninterrupted shower.
It felt so good to accomplish something first thing in the morning.
It felt so good to accomplish something first thing in the morning.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Pack N Play changing table
My husband and I decided that our girls will share a room. The principal reason is that we only have a three bedroom house and we use our guest bedroom enough to warrant not giving it up for an infant.
For the short term, Emma is sleeping in our room in a Rock N' Play Sleeper. This makes night feedings so much easier. My only problem is that the changing table is located in the girls' shared bedroom across the house. If I have to change Emma in the middle of the night, there is a high risk of waking up Molly. Translation - trying to comfort two crying children at 3 in the morning. Not my idea of a good time. Solution: turning my Pack N Play into a changing station. I purchased a Pack N Play that has two levels for the sleeping surface when Molly was born. Some versions have a dedicated changing station. When Emma was born, I set it at the highest level, put all of the changing necessities in a basket and voila - instant changing table. Is it a little low - yes. Is it better than waking up Molly - absolutely.
Cost: The cost of the basket. I already had the Pack N Play.
For the short term, Emma is sleeping in our room in a Rock N' Play Sleeper. This makes night feedings so much easier. My only problem is that the changing table is located in the girls' shared bedroom across the house. If I have to change Emma in the middle of the night, there is a high risk of waking up Molly. Translation - trying to comfort two crying children at 3 in the morning. Not my idea of a good time. Solution: turning my Pack N Play into a changing station. I purchased a Pack N Play that has two levels for the sleeping surface when Molly was born. Some versions have a dedicated changing station. When Emma was born, I set it at the highest level, put all of the changing necessities in a basket and voila - instant changing table. Is it a little low - yes. Is it better than waking up Molly - absolutely.
Cost: The cost of the basket. I already had the Pack N Play.
Sunday, July 10, 2016
A Toddler's reaction to a new baby
Our daughter Molly's reaction to baby Emma has been mixed. At times, she is so excited to see the baby. She wants to be near the baby, touch the baby and even gives her kisses. She even says "bye-bye baby" when she leaves for daycare in the morning. Cute as heck.
At other times, our once fairly independent daughter is clingy, particularly with Dad. Turn on the water works the moment he leaves the room, even if it is for a moment (i.e. going to the bathroom). Not so cute. When Dad holds baby Emma, Molly frequently insists on climbing all over him, forcing him to balance holding a newborn and a squirmy toddler. For some reason, I do not get nearly the same reaction. Perhaps it is because Dad did a lot of the physical parenting for Molly (picking her up, feeding her, changing her, etc) during the last weeks of my pregnancy.
We also notice that Molly, who routinely slept through the night (8:00 p.m. to 7 a.m.) before Emma was born is now waking up in the middle of the night, crying out for "Da Da." In addition, Molly, our human alarm clock, who woke up religiously between 6:30 and 7:15 is now all over the place...waking as early as 5:15 and as late as 8:30 - 9:00.
Overall, I give Molly a B+ in her transition to having a younger sister. Hopefully as we settle into a better daily routine, Molly will fully adjust.
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| Dad with Emma and Molly during story time |
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| Molly helping Emma with tummy time |
At other times, our once fairly independent daughter is clingy, particularly with Dad. Turn on the water works the moment he leaves the room, even if it is for a moment (i.e. going to the bathroom). Not so cute. When Dad holds baby Emma, Molly frequently insists on climbing all over him, forcing him to balance holding a newborn and a squirmy toddler. For some reason, I do not get nearly the same reaction. Perhaps it is because Dad did a lot of the physical parenting for Molly (picking her up, feeding her, changing her, etc) during the last weeks of my pregnancy.
We also notice that Molly, who routinely slept through the night (8:00 p.m. to 7 a.m.) before Emma was born is now waking up in the middle of the night, crying out for "Da Da." In addition, Molly, our human alarm clock, who woke up religiously between 6:30 and 7:15 is now all over the place...waking as early as 5:15 and as late as 8:30 - 9:00.
Overall, I give Molly a B+ in her transition to having a younger sister. Hopefully as we settle into a better daily routine, Molly will fully adjust.
Saturday, July 9, 2016
Product Review - Milkies Milk Saver
Rating: Should Have
Price: $27.00
For any breastfeeding mom, I highly recommend Milkies Milk Saver. It is a fairly simplistic silicone container that slips into your bra. You put it on the side you are not nursing on. As you nurse, breast milk collects in the container. I have used it for one day and have already collected 4 ounces that would have otherwise ended up in a breast pad and eventually in the garbage.
I spent 14 months nursing Molly and I had absolutely no idea that one leaks that much milk. Using the Milk Saver will definitely increase the amount of milk I am able to save which will be a huge comfort when baby Emma goes to daycare.
The Milk Saver is available on Amazon for approximately $27.00. https://www.amazon.com/Milkies-Milk-Saver-Breast-Collector-Storage. Although it is fairly price, I believe it is worth every penny if I can collect an extra feeding each day without having to be attached to the pump. It also comes with a storage container that has a slot to help stand up the milk saver so it does not spill. Now some of the reviewers on Amazon indicated that they found it less useful after the first couple weeks of nursing. I will let you know how it goes.
Tip: I keep a spare bottle in the fridge. I collect approximately an ounce each nursing session. I pour the collected milk into the bottle. Once the bottle has three ounces, I pour it into a breast milk storage bag and put it in the freezer.
Tip: This is not something you wear throughout the day. I only insert it in my bra when nursing and remove it immediately after. One of the complaints is that if you lean over, it spills. I find that if I remove it (and stand it up in its storage container) before I stand up with the baby, it doesn't spill.
Price: $27.00
For any breastfeeding mom, I highly recommend Milkies Milk Saver. It is a fairly simplistic silicone container that slips into your bra. You put it on the side you are not nursing on. As you nurse, breast milk collects in the container. I have used it for one day and have already collected 4 ounces that would have otherwise ended up in a breast pad and eventually in the garbage.
I spent 14 months nursing Molly and I had absolutely no idea that one leaks that much milk. Using the Milk Saver will definitely increase the amount of milk I am able to save which will be a huge comfort when baby Emma goes to daycare.
The Milk Saver is available on Amazon for approximately $27.00. https://www.amazon.com/Milkies-Milk-Saver-Breast-Collector-Storage. Although it is fairly price, I believe it is worth every penny if I can collect an extra feeding each day without having to be attached to the pump. It also comes with a storage container that has a slot to help stand up the milk saver so it does not spill. Now some of the reviewers on Amazon indicated that they found it less useful after the first couple weeks of nursing. I will let you know how it goes.
Tip: I keep a spare bottle in the fridge. I collect approximately an ounce each nursing session. I pour the collected milk into the bottle. Once the bottle has three ounces, I pour it into a breast milk storage bag and put it in the freezer.
Tip: This is not something you wear throughout the day. I only insert it in my bra when nursing and remove it immediately after. One of the complaints is that if you lean over, it spills. I find that if I remove it (and stand it up in its storage container) before I stand up with the baby, it doesn't spill.
Here we go!
Welcome! I am the mother of two beautiful girls, Molly (21 months) and Emma (2 weeks). I am starting this blog as an outlet for sharing (and venting) all of the joys of being a full time working parent.
I titled this blog "Mom, Lawyer, Chaos Manager" because it sums up my life. I am first and foremost a mom; second, a lawyer (in order to pay the bills) and if there is anytime left over in my day, I attempt at managing the often self created chaos that fills one's life. I know that there are millions of parenting sites and blogs out there. If anyone other than me reads this, wonderful. If not, it will still serve as a great outlet for me.
In terms of my parenting style, I confess that I absolutely lack the ability to be a stay at home mom. I give women who have the ability mentally and physically to take care of children all day kudos. Don't get me wrong, I treasure every moment I spend with my children. However, having Molly in daycare enables me to work so that my family has the financial means to provide her with what she needs. More importantly, it gives me the opportunity to maintain a huge part of my life, being a lawyer. It gives me 8 hours a day to be an adult, to engage in critical thinking, and to just be me. It also provides Molly with wonderful social interaction that I would simply not be able to provide her if she were to stay home with me all day. Emma will also be enrolled in daycare at the end of my maternity leave.
Assuming I can keep this blog going, I hope to provide my insights as to what has worked and what has utterly failed. I also solicit anyone reading this blog to share what has worked for them without fear of judgment.
I titled this blog "Mom, Lawyer, Chaos Manager" because it sums up my life. I am first and foremost a mom; second, a lawyer (in order to pay the bills) and if there is anytime left over in my day, I attempt at managing the often self created chaos that fills one's life. I know that there are millions of parenting sites and blogs out there. If anyone other than me reads this, wonderful. If not, it will still serve as a great outlet for me.
In terms of my parenting style, I confess that I absolutely lack the ability to be a stay at home mom. I give women who have the ability mentally and physically to take care of children all day kudos. Don't get me wrong, I treasure every moment I spend with my children. However, having Molly in daycare enables me to work so that my family has the financial means to provide her with what she needs. More importantly, it gives me the opportunity to maintain a huge part of my life, being a lawyer. It gives me 8 hours a day to be an adult, to engage in critical thinking, and to just be me. It also provides Molly with wonderful social interaction that I would simply not be able to provide her if she were to stay home with me all day. Emma will also be enrolled in daycare at the end of my maternity leave.
Assuming I can keep this blog going, I hope to provide my insights as to what has worked and what has utterly failed. I also solicit anyone reading this blog to share what has worked for them without fear of judgment.
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